Reflection on my old self.

So, I have been doing a lot of reflecting recently, and I myself realize how far I have come and grown and matured in just a few short years. Priorities have been shifted, and worries have been removed. So instead of looking out for myself first and trying to get as far as I can on my own, I have come to the conclusion that without other people helping me along the way, nothing would have been accomplished. Everyone who has lifted me up when I was down, encouraged me to keep going when I felt passion or a calling to do something, or called me out when I was wrong, I thank you for speaking truth to me.

As I had said, I feel so much more mature now than I was in the past. Looking at my xanga, from 3 years ago, I notice a change in character, language, and thoughts. In the past I carried a lot of anger, brokenness, emptiness, and sadness. Looking at my previous posts, I saw a lot of this in my life. However, now after a few years being on my own, meeting people who have supported me in ALL aspects of my life, I now no longer dwell on these feelings. Now I am filled with joy, happiness, and clarity. I no longer worry about the material things in life. I remember, back in high school, everyday, every week, I would be looking for an easy bet to make in order to make a little bit of money. Constantly fixated on this was not healthy for me, for it took the joy of the things in enjoyed the most. Sports no longer were a hobby where I could enjoy in my leisure, but rather, it became a business where if things didn't work out the way I expected, I would harbor lots of anger. Now, they are back to a passion of mine where I can enjoy in relaxation, although there is still disappointment and a little anger when things don't work out...but that's just me being emotional in the moment.

Another thing that I had become obsessed with back in the day was music. I wanted to collect all sorts of music, trying to make my collection impressive. However, none of it really matters anymore. Sometime in the middle of the year, I found myself realizing that I had become totally disconnected with music, and I had no idea about any new stuff. This allows me to enjoy the lyrical content of the songs rather than just having the song for the sake of having it. In order to share my joy of listening to songs that mean something to me, I hope to post a song each day and relate its importance to me to you.

The first song is by Tobymac called "One World"
As I was saying earlier, people had looked out for me and encouraged me in order to empower me to go places. I feel challenged to look out for others as much as I look out for myself. Another thing that I see is that hate will dissipate from our lives. Anger and hatred are two extremely powerful words that used to have a large effect on me. However, now they are gone from my life and instead I have been filled with love, forgiveness, and peace.